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Adoption: Exploring Your Options

For families struggling with typical means of conception, adoption can provide a path to parenthood. For others, providing a stable, loving home to a child in need is the primary goal. As you consider whether your family is ready to engage in this process and commitment, we have provided some topics to help you assess and prepare.

Overview

  • The ages tend to range from toddlers to school-aged children.
  • Information on the child's medical history and family medical history may be limited.
  • Sometimes, there are restrictions on choosing the gender of your child, but generally this is an option.
  • The adoption paperwork is usually extensive, as is the wait time. It can take between 12 and 36 months to bring your child home.
  • Generally, international adoptions are closed adoptions.
  • Same sex couples will have difficulty finding agencies that can serve them in many countries, and marital status can also be a factor.
  • The cost of this type of adoption can be between $20,000 and $60,000 plus the cost of traveling to the country where you are adopting your child.

Process and Timeline

The international adoption process takes a minimum of one year and can sometimes take several years.

  1. The first step is to choose an agency to work with and an attorney to advise you. The international adoption process can become very complicated, as it is governed by three sets of laws: U.S. federal law, the laws of the child's country and the laws of your state of residence.
  2. You will need to fill out an application and accompanying paperwork, complete a home study and then apply to be pre-qualified to adopt a foreign-born orphan by Citizenship and Immigration Services.
  3. Once this is complete you can submit your dossier and wait for the matching process to begin.
  4. When you have been matched with a child and are ready to commit, all agencies will need to be notified and you must travel to the child's location to complete the adoption.
  5. After the adoption process is complete in your child's country of origin, you will immigrate the child into the United States through the approval of a Citizenship and Immigration Services. This will require a visa issued by the U.S. Embassy located in your child's country of origin.
  6. After you are able to return home with your child, there will be a period of supervision and perhaps years of post-adoption reports to ensure the child is being cared for according to the standards of all involved.

Resources

Overview

  • Parents selecting this option are typically trying to adopt newborn babies in the United States.
  • Usually, a complete medical history is available for the child and possibly family medical histories as well.
  • It can be difficult to choose the gender and age of your child because expecting parents generally get to choose who to give their child to.
  • Single parents are selected less often.
  • This type of adoption involves agency paperwork, attorney paperwork, home study paperwork and creating a family profile.
  • Depending on the state, birth parents have the chance to change their mind for a certain amount of time after birth.
  • Wait time varies as you have to wait to be chosen by birth parents and it may take time for someone to select you.
  • There is a trend toward increased openness toward birth parents after adoption.
  • If adopting from another state, adoptive parents are usually asked to spend a week in the state with the child.
  • The cost can be between $15,000 and $45,000.

Process and Timeline

  1. The first step is to choose an adoption agency and attorney to best fit your family.
  2. You will need to fill out an application, conduct a home study and construct a family profile.
  3. At this point, birth parents can review available profiles and select the family they would like to have adopt their child. They will initiate contact with families they are considering and, once they select a family, they will likely keep in contact with them through the pregnancy. This is also the point where both families need to discuss whether they will choose a closed, open or semi-open adoption.
  4. The adoptive family will often have the opportunity to travel to the hospital to welcome their child when it is born.
  5. If the birth parents have not changed their minds about the adoption, they will proceed with terminating their parental rights and the child will be placed with the adoptive family.
  6. For the next three to six months, a series of post-placement visits will occur and the details of the termination of parental rights and adoption paperwork will be reviewed.
  7. At the end of this process there will be a finalization hearing, where the adoption is officially recognized by the court and is complete.

Resources

Overview

  • This option involves adopting a child or children from the foster care system in the United States. There are two types of foster care adoption:
    • direct foster care adoption, where parental rights have already been terminated
    • foster to adopt, where you can open your home to children in the foster care system and will be given first choice to adopt them if parental rights are terminated
  • The majority of children available for direct adoptions are ages six and up, with younger children usually belonging to a set of siblings. Foster to adopt families will generally have access to younger children, but only about 25% of children in foster care will ultimately be adopted.
  • Children will generally have a health history available, but family medical history can be more challenging.
  • You are able to specify preferred gender and age group.
  • Paperwork is comparatively less than private agencies, but families must attend a 30–35 hour educational preparatory course as part of their application.
  • If parental rights have already been terminated, there should be no contest. If not, parents still have the ability to reunify with their children.
  • Timeline varies greatly but it is possible to have the child in your home while adoption is being finalized. The process can be a short as a few months in some instances.
  • The openness of the adoptions varies, but usually contact with birth siblings and extended family is requested.
  • Adoption decisions are made based on what is in the best interest of the child. Age of the parent, sexual orientation and marital status are less of a factor here.
  • The cost of adopting from foster care is also significantly less than other types of adoption. For families that foster, the cost of adoption might be covered, but all families can look to see if they are eligible for adoption subsidies to help pay for expenses.

Process and Timeline

  1. All prospective parents hoping to adopt from the foster care system must fill out an application and undergo initial screening. You will need to provide a doctor's note verifying your health, financial records, personal references and all necessary clearances.
  2. After this initial screening, you will undergo a series of home visits to determine if your home is a safe place for a child.
  3. Once the screening process is complete, matching can begin and the agency will provide you with information about children who may be a good fit for your family. You will get a chance to meet children and spend time together in a pre-placement visit before making any decisions. If you feel comfortable, the agency can arrange to have the child placed in your home.
  4. If you are ready to finalize the adoption, your lawyer will need to file a Report of Intent to Adopt.
  5. Before the adoption can be finalized, there is a period of supervision and support for the child and the new family. Children must be in the home for a period of at least six months before adoption can be finalized. Foster parents who have already had the child in the home can usually count that time and complete this process more quickly.

Resources

Surrogacy

  • There are two types of surrogacy:
    • Traditional, where the birth mother uses her own egg. Traditional surrogacy is treated legally as an adoption and is rarely practiced anymore. The birth mother would have to relinquish her parental rights after birth and adoption paperwork would be processed.
    • Gestational, where the birth mother is not biologically related to the child and an egg and sperm from donors or intended parents are used. Gestational surrogacy is far more common and considered less risky as the birth mother does not have parental rights.
  • It can take several attempts before a successful pregnancy can be established.
  • The process can cost between $80,000 and $200,000.
  • Generally, both egg donors and surrogates are heavily screened, so there is a wealth of health information available.
  • Sexual orientation and marital status are not generally a factor in this process.

Sperm Donation

  • This is the process of using donated sperm to fertilize an egg and produce a child. It is not considered adoption, as the donor will relinquish any parental rights prior to fertilization.
  • The cost is generally around $2,000 and may be covered by insurance, but it is important to note that it may take several attempts before a successful pregnancy is established.

Egg Donation

  • This is the process of using a donated egg to produce a child. It is not considered adoption, as the donor relinquishes any parental rights prior to fertilization.
  • The cost of this option is generally between $30,000 and $70,000. It may take several attempts to establish a successful pregnancy.

Embryo Donation

  • This type of adoption is for an embryo, which will be implanted and carried to term by someone other than the biological parents. If implantation is successful, the resulting child will legally be a member of the adoptive family upon its birth.
  • Health information for the embryo is generally known but gender is rarely known.
  • If adopting from a fertility clinic the paperwork is minimal. If adopting from an adoption agency, there is significantly more paperwork.
  • Biological parents will sign over their rights before implantation, but it is important to note that only 36% of embryo donation transfers typically result in a live birth.
  • This type of adoption features no contact with biological parents if facilitated by a fertility clinic, but may have the possibility of contact if facilitated by an adoption agency.
  • Age may be a factor in ensuring a successful transfer, but clinics will not consider marital status or sexual orientation a factor. Some adoption agencies might consider these factors.
  • Travel might be involved in order to reach the donating clinic.
  • Costs range between $4,500 and $16,000 per attempt.

Process and Timeline

  • The process for these options usually starts in a fertility clinic.
  • Sperm donation is by far the quickest process, and usually involves placing an order with a sperm bank and setting up an appointment for the procedure. It is often advised that you seek legal advice to secure the rights of the parent not biologically related to the child, or if you are using a known donor.
  • The process of using an egg donor is more complex and requires that the donor and recipient synchronize their menstrual cycles to ensure successful transfer of the egg. Once synchronized, there is a waiting period while the egg reaches maturity, then the egg will be fertilized by either your partner or donor sperm and a number of days will pass while the embryo develops.
    • If all goes well, the remaining wait time will be the length of a typical pregnancy.
    • Usually, multiple embryos will be created and you can decide how many to implant, while storing the remaining embryos for later attempts.
    • Sometimes, not all embryos are used in this process and the remaining embryos can be donated to parents who wish to "adopt" them. In order to adopt an embryo, parents will have to apply to either a fertility clinic or an adoption agency and will likely undergo a health screening and home study to ensure the home environment is a safe place for the child. At that point, the matching process can begin. Despite the terminology, this process is governed by contracts and is different than the typical legal process for adopting a child.
  • Surrogacy is a different process, in which there is extensive interaction between the surrogate mother and the parents.
    • Before the embryo is implanted, there is a matching process during which parents look for a willing surrogate who fits their needs.
    • The main role of an agency in this scenario is to facilitate matching and the resulting contract that must be signed before implantation.
    • Once terms are agreed upon, the surrogate will undergo synchronization of her cycle and receive an embryo donated by the parents or by other donors. If successful, she will proceed with the pregnancy and the parents will travel to her to meet their child at birth.

Resources

Find an Adoption Agency

Find an Adoption Lawyer

Most options require the assistance of an adoption lawyer to guide you through various state and possibly international laws and regulations.

Avoid Adoption Scams

Unfortunately, there are people who will take advantage of children and families going through the adoption process. The best way to protect yourself is to educate yourself about the process, know who you are working with, and know the laws and regulations that apply to your situation. Guides provided by My Adoption Advisor and Considering Adoption explain steps to take to prevent fraud.

  • Adoption Tax Credit — Tax benefits for adoption include a tax credit for qualified adoption expenses paid to adopt an eligible child and an exclusion from income for employer-provided adoption assistance.
  • PA State Adoption Assistance — Children in foster care who meet requirements can get adoption assistance from the state.
  • Adoption Loans — You may find a lender to loan you the money needed to adopt a child, making it easier to afford the cost up front and break down the payments over time. However, this is not always a wise financial choice. Before taking out one of these loans, speak with an unbiased financial professional.
  • Adoption Benefits for Military Personnel — Military service members who adopt a child under 18 years of age may be reimbursed qualified adoption expenses up to $2,000 per adoptive child (up to a total of $5,000 if more than one child is adopted) per calendar year.
  • Adoption Grants — Some nonprofit organizations provide grants to assist families with adoption. Many of these organizations are faith-based, so there may be restrictions on who can use the funds.
    • A Child Waits Foundation — provides adoption loans and grants for international and domestic adoption
    • National Adoption Foundation — provides grants and loans for all legal adoptions, public and private
    • Gift of Adoption Fund — the largest provider of adoption assistance grants awarded without regard to race, religion, age, marital status or sexual orientation; grants of up to $15,000 are awarded monthly to qualified applicants
    • Help Us Adopt — awards grants up to $15,000 and provides for single- and two-parent families including same-sex households; does not require a statement of faith or religion, and does not charge for an initial application
    • Adoption Agencies — many have funds available to qualified families, although most assist with the placement of children with special needs or who have had difficulty finding a placement
  • Fundraising for Adoption:

All states require a home study, which is a written report or profile that a caseworker creates after interviewing your family. The caseworker determines whether your home is safe for a child and makes recommendations on what a good match would look like.

  • It can take between three and six months for the home study paperwork to be finalized.
  • The process consists of a series of visits, some of which take place in your home. It can include:
    • financial statements
    • educational background
    • prior and current relationships
    • letters of reference
    • experiences and attitudes towards children
    • details about your home and neighborhood
    • your reason for wanting to adopt
    • how you cope with pressure and interpersonal discord
    • what kind of supports you have in place to help with the child
  • These meetings provide families the opportunity to ask the agency questions about costs, financial aid, postadoption services, etc.
  • The Child Welfare Information Gateway provides details on the home study process.

Adoption Finalization Day

Many parents expect the day they take their new child home to be the end of their adoption journey, but this is usually not the case. Generally, there is a supervision period where the child is in your care, but the adoption is not yet finalized. The final step of the adoption process happens some months later at your final court hearing.

Bonding

Sleep Issues

Many children who have gone through the adoption process suffer from sleep difficulties.

Postadoption Depression

The adoption process can be a stressful change for any child, but this process can take an emotional toll on parents as well.

Adoptive Parenting Resources

Parent Support Groups

Transracial Adoption

Adopting a Child with Special Needs

Adopting Older Children

Blending Biological and Adopted Children

Further Reading