Carnegie Mellon University

This I Believe: My Palestinian Identity


Noora Al-Shurafa
Carnegie Mellon University – Qatar
Modern Languages – Understanding Cultural Complexities

I look to my left and I see a lady in a long black gown with red embroidery in lines running down her dress, with a thin fabric-belt tied around her waist. I look to my right and I see a lady in a long white gown with blue embroidery along her waist, some on the cuffs, some on her chest, and some on the hem. I look behind me, and I hear people speaking in a Palestinian dialect, slowly, but firmly, with elongated vowels. I look ahead and I hear people speaking in another Palestinian dialect, replacing some of the “q [ق]” letters with “g”. The dialect they speak, the design on their traditional clothes, and even the way they interact with each other makes them easily identifiable as to their Palestinian city of origin. Even though Palestine is a relatively smaller country, it stands out for its beautiful cultural and linguistic diversity.

I grew up a mix of two Palestinian cultures: Gaza and Hebron. I am always caught between the difference of not only the dialect and traditions of the two cities, but also their distinct traits and personalities. Gazans are known for their hot-headedness and sternness, while Hebron people are known for being easy-going and laid-back.

My grandma, from Hebron, always criticizes me as being “Ghazawiyah” (Gazan) during my moments of silliness. On the other hand, when she is proud of me, she praises me as being “Khaliliyah” (from Hebron). I am divided between two rich cultures, and I am honored to be from such cities. Even though their similarities are uncanny, it never ceases to amaze me how each is distinctly different in its own beautiful way.

One evening, while attending a Palestinian wedding in Qatar, I see the Palestinian bride in ‘western’ white. After the wedding, I got surprised to hear my Palestinian friend say, “Western bridal dresses are so pretty, I’d rather wear one similar to that bride than what my Grandma back in Palestine wants me to wear for my wedding [referring to the traditional Palestinian bridal dress]”.

Days after that, while speaking to a native Arab, s/he asked me, “Are you Jordanian or Palestinian?”. Despite the cultural similarities of these two countries when it comes to their dialect, cuisine, and traditional clothes, I know, for a fact, that if I spoke my native dialect, I would quickly be identified not only by country, but also by city. Frustrated at my noticeable loss of identity, I remembered what I was told by my mother when I was younger, “Speaking the ‘white dialect’ [an Arabic dialect uniformly understood by all Arabs] is better, so our native Palestinian dialect doesn’t come off as harsh to others.”

I send an Eid picture of my family and I to my relatives in Palestine, and I see wondering eyes as to why I chose to wear a pink shirt and white pants for Eid Al-Adha rather than a long black gown with red embroidery. I look at those close to me in Qatar and I recognize confusion in their eyes as they question the commitment that I am stereotyped to have politically and socially as a Palestinian, especially being from Gaza.

I have come to quickly realize that by living in a foreign country, I am not only losing my identity as a Palestinian, but also I am given the impression by other expats that it is okay not to hold on to the strong Palestinian culture that I once had. Does being an expat for so long force me to slowly lose my identity as a Palestinian? Or am I unknowingly accepting the fact that a ‘weaker’ (almost invisible) Palestinian identity and culture is better than my own?