This I Believe: I should explain myself to avoid any misunderstandings
AnonymousCarnegie Mellon University - Qatar
Modern Languages - Understanding Cultural Complexities
As a student growing up in a gender-segregated school, I was exposed to a certain and a narrow set of ideologies. Specifically, I was only familiar with the people of my country’s perception of social issues. Because of this, I did not realize that there are people out there who have different opinions, perceptions, and ways of thinking. However, this has changed as I entered university, in which I was constantly working with diverse people in group projects, and had to interact with people who are different from my background. The experience has informed my understanding of how there is a difference between people in terms of perception and a way of thinking. These differences that I observed made me realize that people do not always know what is going on in your head when you do something unless you tell them.
One thing that I have learned from interacting with people who do not come from the same background as I do is that sometimes people tend to misunderstand my intentions. An example of that is my interaction with my friend when he once came to me complaining that he was hungry. As a response to this, I told him that I was already going to a café, and I could get him something to eat. He agreed to this proposal, but with one condition: he would pay me back. This condition was confusing to me because in my cultural background, when someone offers to pay, you accept it and you usually not request to pay back. Because of this, I did not understand why he wanted to do this, so I asked him and he told me that I should not treat him as a charity case. Insulted, I told him to further explain, so he said that because of my background, I am obviously richer than him. At that time, I felt very hurt at my friend’s assumption, because the tendency to classify people and put a label on them that way made me angry. This situation made me realize that there are probably a lot of people who think the same about me. I do not like how people have false, unfair stereotypes about other people who tend to generalize those traits. With this, I felt the urge to explain myself to avoid any misunderstanding. My friend’s perception was that I had to pay for him because I had more money than him. However, I do not pay for my friends because I assume that they are poor; I do it because I think that my friendship with them is more valuable.
One assumption that my friend was putting forth, other than the assumption that I might be richer than him, is the fact that if I paid for him, he would not be able to repay me. However, the reality is I am satisfied with intangible repayments. I might be repaid with happiness; that my friend is happy, or that my friend is not hungry anymore. However, this might not be understood until I verbally convey it to other people. This is because I believe that there should not be any misunderstandings between friends. Because this friendship matters to me, I should explain myself. This is because different people might misinterpret things due to their different backgrounds. Therefore, I believe that people should stop having assumptions about others, and should start listening before doing so. I do not assume that my friends are charity cases when I tell them I want to pay for their meal. This act is merely due to the fact that my friendship with others is more valuable than how much the meal I’m paying for is worth.