Expert Focus: Don't Make the Internet a Forbidden Fruit
By Dena Haritos Tsamitis Email
When I was growing up, our pantry was empty. No junk food in sight. My Greek immigrant parents, owners of Harris Grill in Shadyside, believed in fresh, home-cooked meals and healthy snacks. My parents praised the benefits of healthy eating and insisted upon it for my siblings and me. But for whatever reason it created a hunger in me for what I could not have. One day while babysitting for a family with no shortage of goodies, I found myself binging on their stash of chips and candy, ending up with a horrible stomach ache. My indulgence did not go unnoticed by the family who shared their discovery with my parents. To this day, I still blush at being caught "taking a bite of the forbidden fruit."
Today, I incorporate healthy food in my lifestyle because I am a firm believer that diet choices impact my well-being - this is to some degree informed by upbringing but to a greater degree influenced by what I've discovered through the years on my own.
I believe the the lessons we teach our children, everything from eating more veggies to staying safe online, should not be fueled by rigid rules and fear of punishment, but rather dialogue about making smart choices and the consequences those choices lead to.
Let’s not make the Internet and social media the forbidden fruit, and instead lay the foundation for smart and informed dialogue about the compelling benefits of technology and the very real dangers children might encounter. Doing so, in my opinion, provides them with the tools and critical thinking skills to safely navigate today's interconnected world.
In addition to viewing the WQED iQ: smartparent webcast above, I encourage parents to consider two additional strategies when it comes to their children's online presence.
1. Keep the dialogue open.
Find time for frequent, casual conversations around the dinner table or during a family outing to discuss how your child is using apps, social media and gaming. Give them examples on something you encountered on social media and ask them to share something they saw or experienced. Bring up news stories about social media gone wrong and ask for their reaction. Find ways to encourage your children to share their online experiences with you, good or bad. Don’t let fear drive your decision-making and conversations around tech.
Inspire your children to be both tech savvy and “street smart” by equipping them with critical thinking skills, teaching cyber safety and lending an open ear.
2. Encourage your children to proactively shape their online presence.
What we share online can be as permanent and visible as a tattoo, and the ripple effects are far-reaching. At stake is not only your child’s personal safety and privacy, but also the impression they make on admissions counselors, employers, business partners and even future significant others.
According to a 2017 Kaplan Test Prep survey, 35 percent of college admissions officers have looked at prospective students’ social media to learn more about them. This can potentially work to your child’s advantage: 47 percent of those admissions officers say social media positively affects how they view applicants.
Encourage your kids to fully consider the impression they want to make and how they can proactively take steps to achieve it.
CONVERSATION STARTERS
- Share with your child what you've discovered when Googling yourself and discuss the steps you've taken to manage your online presence and why.
- Ask your child to Google their name – do they like the results? What would they change?
- Ask your kids what apps they use and go through the privacy settings together to control what others see and share about them.
TIPS FOR GROWING A POSITIVE ONLINE REPUTATION
- Do share things that would improve your reputation as a good student, a good friend and a team player.
- Don't share things that would damage your reputation as a good friend and a respectable and trustworthy person.
- Don't share things that will make you a target for weirdo strangers or bullies.
- Be careful about whom you trust with your reputation when you add them as "friends" or "followers," and share things with them.
- Be on the lookout for others damaging your reputation and act quickly to minimize the damage.
Everyone has the power to shape their online presence to reflect who they want to be, not just now, but in the future.
Investigate More
Case Studies
These scenarios were developed during the MySecureCyberspace outreach initiative and help explain cybersecurity and privacy topics using real world situations.
Dealing with Online Bullying
What We Post Online is Public and Permanent
Managing Content and Safety Settings
The Carnegie Cyber Academy Games
Play these games with your children and explore other fun activities on the Carnegie Cyber Academy website.
Growing a positive online reputation can be tough. Do you know what it takes? Play the Game
Are you a good Cyber Citizen? Take Betty's Quiz to test your netiquette know-how! PLAY THE GAME