Carnegie Mellon University

joke of the week

July 17, 2025

Osher at CMU Joke of the Week!

Here is the joke of the week:

Why doesn’t the sun trust umbrellas?
Because they’re so shady.


If you'd like to submit a joke for the WE, please email it to osher@cmu.edu!

Past Jokes

Here are the jokes we've posted in the past! We hope they make you laugh.

Why should you research fireworks before purchasing them?
To get the most bang for your buck!
What is the worst beverage to drink in the summer?
Humidi-tea!

A man leaves home, takes three left turns, and is on his way back home when he sees two men in masks waiting for him. Who are they?
The catcher and the umpire!

When does red mean “go” and green mean “stop”?
When you’re eating a watermelon.

This week we have a brain teaser for you:

The number 8,549,176,320 is a unique number. What is so special about it?
Answer: This is the only number that includes all the digits arranged in alphabetical order.

What did one tornado sing to another tornado?
Let’s twist again like we did last summer!

A priest, a pastor, and a rabbit walked into a blood donation clinic. The nurse asked the rabbit, "what is your blood type?"
"I am probably a type O," replied the rabbit.

Q: Why didn’t the sun go to college?
A:  It already had a million degrees.

Q: Did you hear the man who invented Cough Drops passed away?
A: There will be no coffin at the funeral.

Q: If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
A: Pilgrims!
There are 10 parts of the body that only contain three letters. Five of them are above the neck. Can you name all 10?

The answers: Eye, ear, lip, gum, jaw, arm, rib, hip, leg, toe.

Why did the leprechaun turn down a bowl of soup? 
He already had a pot of gold.

Would you like to hear a joke about building?
I'm sorry. There's been a delay in construction.

What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine’s Day? 
"I'm stuck on you!"

What are the strongest days of the week?
Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays!

If a parsley farmer gets sued, can they garnish his wages?

Have you heard about the Italian chef who just died?
He pasta way!

How does the ocean say hi? It waves.

Why should you never fall in love with a tennis player? Because to them, "love" means NOTHING!

Why does everyone say Times Square is the best for New Year's Eve? They always drop the ball!