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Doug Altner interviews himself

Me: I am here with Doug Altner in our dormitory asylum and I am about to interview view him about his sentiments, experiences, lessons learned and devotions to the Mellon College of Science.

Doug: Yes you will.

Me: Don't interrupt. First of all, let's get a succinct profile of yourself so that our readers can formulate a general image of what kind of person you are.

Doug: Splendid.

Me: What class are you in and what is your home department?

Doug: I am currently a member of the sophomore class and I plan to graduate in the spring of 2003. I like that year because it is the first prime numbered year of the new millennium. My home department is the mathematics department.

Me: What sort of degree are you working towards?

Doug: I plan to attain a Bachelor of Science in operations research with a minor in business administration and possibly an additional minor in computational finance.

Me: Ok, now that we are modestly acquainted with you Doug, let's begin the inquisition regarding your familiarity with MCS. (MCS is an affectionate title for the Mellon College of Science.)

Were you daunted at all by the grandeur of Carnegie Mellon as you first set foot onto the university's private property as an accepted student?

Doug: Moderately. I must admit I felt a sliver of trepidation when I first absorbed the atmosphere of the university through the pores of my skin. You see, I had never visited Carnegie Mellon before or even been remotely close to Pittsburgh. So like a tourist first setting foot in Europe, I was enchanted but nervous when I arrived on campus. My fears were mitigated once I learned that the majority of the freshman shared similar sentiments. It is a natural occurrence for one to be anxious as one embarks on a rite of passage such as beginning college life.

Me: I see. Were you certain of what path you wanted to take as in a choice of major after you matriculated?

Doug: I had a general idea although I would be prevaricating if I stated that I had a concrete plan designed for my impending four collegiate years. I knew that I was interested in operations research/applied mathematics then, but I also had ambitious ideas such as double majoring in some field of engineering along with operations research, transferring to engineering or even transferring to the School of Computer Science.

Me: Why did you cease pursuing these goals? Did you view them as unachievable pipe dreams?

Doug: Not at all. I took a few engineering courses during my spring semester. I eventually became disenchanted with engineering and realized that I would be happier in the operations research program. Furthermore, it is not that difficult to change majors or even transfer to another department if one desires. When I was considering transferring to engineering Dr. Grotzinger, the avuncular dean of MCS, was very helpful and encouraging. The academic advisors are being paid to provide insight and to guide students academically. It is in a student's best interest to take advantage of the advice that his academic advisors have to offer.

Me: Well said. Let's move on to coursework in the Mellon College of Science. Did you find your workload to be overwhelming during your first semester at Carnegie Mellon in comparison to the amount of assignments you were used to handling in high school?

Doug: I was not consumed by my workload at all. I had a lot of free time and a lot of fun during my first semester. MCS recommends a modest amount of credits during the freshman fall semester to allow students to adjust to college life.

Me: Did you find this adjustment difficult?

Doug: Adjusting to college life is a conversion that is a lot more intimidating than it is difficult. The quintessential expedient for greenhorns is time management. I can not emphasize how important this practice is. As long as one starts one's assignments early, doesn't stay up all night, allocates additional time in case homework assignments prove to be more difficult than they appear to be, plans ahead and minimizes procrastination, then one will evade an arduous semester.

Me: Wow, sounds like a lot of responsibility. If students of MCS have such a rigorous schedule, do they have any time for recreational activities? Do you even have any free time to have fun? In other words, are you a neurotic loser who is hexed with an inhibiting case of socialphobia?

Doug: I hope not. In my defense, I do participate in numerous activities. In addition to juggling five or six lectures, I have time to play intramural hockey, go to see movies multiple times on weekends and occasionally go with a few friends to fraternity parties. I must confess I also play computer games over CMU's Local Area Network.

Me: Back to school, you mentioned that you have several lectures. I have heard that most lectures range from seventy-five to two hundred students. Do you feel insignificant in such large learning sessions? Are all your classes large lectures?

Doug: Usually only the introductory freshman science courses such as physics, calculus, chemistry and biology are the subjects that are taught in heavily populated lecture halls. Courses such as expository writing or philosophy and sophomore or higher level courses are approximately thirty to fifty pupils. Class sizes diminish when one starts taking higher numbered courses not because of an atrocious retention rating but because courses start to get more specialized towards one's major. As I sophomore I started to meet other students who are in the operations research program. As a freshman it seemed as if I was the only one. As for feeling insignificant in a large lecture hall, one can't help incurring a moderate feeling of insignificance when sitting among one hundred and ninety nine other students. However, many students have opportunities to participate during these lectures. So students may interact during lectures; attending a class is not like watching a theatrical performance.

Me: Will students in the Mellon College of Science have opportunities to take electives or are they locked into a rigorous and stringent schedule once their major is declared?

Doug: As a student, I always have room in my schedule for irrelevant but interesting electives. This semester I am taking Abnormal Psychology and last semester I elected to take What Philosophy Is. The average student in MCS has an opportunity to take one or two arbitrary electives per semester.

Me: I suppose this means that a student will have classes not only taught by faculty of the Mellon College of Science but also by professors from other departments.

Doug: It sure does chief.

Me: I suppose this is enough for a brief interview to educate incoming students. Let's bring forth the conclusion.

Doug: Ok.

Me: Predictions?

Doug: You stole that from the McLaughlin Group.

Note: Doug is not schizophrenic, nor does he suffer from any delusive disorder. He only interviewed himself in hope to arouse interest with intellectual banter and whimsical wit that can only be provided by such a charismatic young go-getter. Moreover, an interview with oneself is always easiest to schedule.

Doug Altner
Mathematical Sciences (concentration in Operations Research), Class of 2003