2011 Art Awards Turns Royal Wedding-School of Art - Carnegie Mellon University

Friday, April 29, 2011

2011 Art Awards Turns Royal Wedding

"Across the ocean, some muddy blue-blooded reptilian royals are celebrating their holy moly matrimony. But here in the colonies they have forgotten our class! Lettuce begin, bacon our ritual, tomatoe of our romance, something to remember."

The 2011 Art Awards were not about to be shown up by whatever was going on at Westminster Abbey on April 29, 2011. No. We had pomp and circumstance to spare in this year's display of talent, tradition, innovation, fashion and...of course...love. As the annual awards came to a close, students turned the tables, marrying each other off to faculty and staff in a ceremony of epic proportions.  View All 2011 Art Awards Photos

2011 School of Art Awardees

Freshman Awards - $600

  • Augusta Fisher Porter Freshman Award – Caroline Record
  • Emily Phyllis Howard Freshman Award – Jamie Walters
  • Joseph B Ellis Freshman Award – Michael Bennett
  • Wilfred Readio Freshman Award – Justin Lin

Sophomore Awards - $800

  • Emily Phyllis Howard Sophomore Award – Emily Wobb
  • Anne Ophelia Dowden Sophomore Award – Sarah Ceurvorst
  • Wilfred Readio Sophomore Award – Mitsuko Verdery
  • Samuel Rosenberg Sophomore Award – Laura Westover

Junior Awards - $1000

  • Emily Phyllis Howard Junior Award – Julie Mallis
  • Wilfred Readio Junior Award – Megan Trott
  • Samuel Rosenberg Junior Award – Julia Cahill
  • Marjory Glassburn Francis Junior Award ($1200) – Anya Weitzman

Senior Awards - $1200

Samuel Rosenberg Senior Awards 
  • Michael Royce
  • Lizzee Solomon
  • Sibel Ergener
  • Meg Callen
  • Haydee Nuala 
Marjory Glassburn Francis Senior Award ($1500)
  • Sara Schoenberger

Interdisciplinary Award - $5000

  • Dan Wilcox (and Heather Knight, HCII)

C.G. Douglas "WRONG WAY" Corrigan Travel Fellowship - $1000

  • Agnes Bolt and Nina Sarnelle

Wedding Nuptials

Presented by HarrySON of a Preacher Man and Oscar High Priestess

You’ve lived among each other for at least a year, and with all good intentions we’ll make you more dear. Oscar! High priestess, please grant us an audience! 

Bejeweled guests, please form a line! Feel to free to snort, jostle and cry. Together we bond you, forever and never, our couples of this tamponofmassobstruction.

We begin with the youngest and work our way up, so that wisdom will lead us to the bfa cup.

1. Madame Nico Zevallos and Lowry Esquire Burgess, lost in space and time, their out of body kinship will eat its own tail until projected forward they form a meta performer of astronomical proportions.

2. In a post-earth venus, we’ve built a chapel for our pentagon of pentacostal ecstasy, wonderlust and intellectual fury: Lady AudraWist, Ann Water from the Stone (in abstentia), Julia Cahill Extraordinaire, Casey Jones Brander, and Melissa di umberto Ragona. This Quintuplet Female Forward Spiritual Bond that last longer than any other crown for a queen.

3. Let's crotchet together an adorned basket of holy holy halleledrewyah: Michael “lupone/sontag” Royce and Pat Bellan-Gillan-Magellin.

4. We’ve known him to strut, in the sweater or nude, his voice is distinctive, rambunctions and crude, Charles Berstein Ragona, Given away by Jessica Handler Jackson to his husband so eager, Zahra "the Pearl of the Middle East" Ahmed.
5. Cato the Younger and Elyse Carr, we bequeath a marriage to be arranged later - the loveliest Teach Americas to be and possible student, age gap aside, we let them be.

6. Sarah Ceurvorst come claim your prize, date of manufacture on this machine of pure thought, and love machine maker Josiah Mannino.

7. For the techbot cybering ring that no doubt lives below Ween, we’ve snuffed out the leaders of the circuit built Queen. Wafey Craig Fahner, and Serveilance Kobbie Bollar bring new words to digital love.

8. Simron of C-con, and Dana of Lok, will release the tension of late fees and missing tripods.

9. She’s cabbage shes collard she’s cauli and kale; he’s robots, he’s ginseng, and tricks never fail. Julie ‘gaya” Mallis and RoboRichard Pell, join hands in the line, your differences, curtail.

10. John Armastead the lumberjack from Canada Hails, to make beds of the Octagon where love never fails. He’s building a home for his sweet heart to be, Terry Hirts and JohnArmastead build circles of glee.

11. Let them be stoned, or get stoned, or something together - Anne Queen of Stones and Suzie Silvester - may this trip be your best and certainly not last, let your UFO land with plenty of class.

Late entries we honor:
Zack Walnau and Cristina Lee
Vicky Yuh and Danny Walcoxxx
Carten Warren and Clayton Merrell

And last but not least, all y'all.

Turn to your partner, show your paper heart.

Trade, swap and lick them till you’ve confused all your parts.

We now announce you husbands and wives, forever and never. Kiss whoever you want, don't be jealous.  

(Cue Dolly Parton's "I Will Always Love You")

To the miller come all!

Out the great hall, front door only, double lines, grab your hitch and march in time!

By: Harrison Apple (BHA '13), Lauren Goshinski, laurengo@andrew.cmu.edu, 412.268.2409